November 18, 2024
“He is a very poor comforter that has never needed comforting.” -Unknown
When I discovered that my daughter had autism, I had just gone through a divorce and a million things went swirling around in my head. How was I going to care for her? Would I be caring for her for life? Would I have to do this alone? How would God help me? How would God teach me? How would I provide enough emotional care for my other 2 young children who don’t have autism? What would the future look like? Almost 4 years later, I still have those questions looming over me. I don’t know that I’m any closer to any of those answers, but I have to say, God has been the most wonderful comforter through it all.
You may ask “How does God (a spirit) comfort man (a human)?” When we think of comforting someone, we tend to think of things we can do for them in the moment, to alleviate their distress. Like listening to them while they drain all their problems on the table, and then offering help in some way. Or we try to offer words of encouragement to validate their feelings. Things like “I can totally understand why you feel that way. I would feel that way, too.” Or we try to assure them we know what they’re going through because we’ve gone through something similar (though that can backfire if you’re misplacing the focus on you rather than them). All these are good, but none can take away the sting of the hardship. None of these things can make the “bad” thing “good”. Only God can do that. That is how He comforts us.
In 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, we read “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ” (NKJV) One of the reasons we go through tribulation (hardships) is so that we are able to comfort others with the same comfort that we received from God. This comfort, from God, is the promise that the hardship we undergo is so very valuable. Not because of the circumstance, but because of what the circumstance produces. My circumstance is that I have a daughter on the autism spectrum. This makes life very difficult. She’s got behavioral and emotional difficulties that effect every aspect of life. Home life, school life, work life, going-out-and-(not)-having-fun life. It’s HARD. Some would say it’s “not good”. BUT……what this hardship is producing IS good. It’s producing in my family more patience, more grace, more understanding, more love, more endurance, more dependency on the Lord, more awareness, and more compassion for those in my same position. This is the comfort we receive from God. Comfort in knowing that nothing we go through is wasted. Nothing we go through is accidental. Nothing we go through is random. (Romans 5:3-4). All for a purpose, all part of the plan, all producing good things. What better comfort could we offer others than those promises from God?
Prayer: Jesus in Heaven, Your word says that You work all things together for good. Even the sad things and really difficult things we go through. Make no exception in our lives. Take all of the broken pieces and make it beautiful, as only You can. In Your magnificent name, Amen.
Action: Read the book of Job (it’s long, so tackle a chapter a day). Instead of encouraging Job through his suffering, his friends condemned him, thinking his suffering was because of living a sinful life. Let’s take note of this when someone we know is going through something really difficult. Let’s point them to Jesus and remind them that God is doing something wonderful through it; regardless of how or why it entered their life.
image: freepik.com
Beautiful blog Melissa! So true. You are right, I guess sometimes sharing what you went through puts the focus on you rather than the person you are trying to help. I never thought of it that way.