December 22, 2022
Melissa Valerio
My daughter, Holly, has autism. Life with an autistic child is challenging, to say the least. She learns differently than most children, including her two brothers around the same age. With Holly, I need to approach things in a way that’s more appropriate for her so she can grasp the concept. I can’t just say “Holly, stop doing that, that’s not nice”. She needs a reason and an example and reinforcement. Maybe even role-play to really drive the point home. And then repeat all of that for the next several months. So now that we’re in Christmas mode and soon we’ll be opening Christmas presents, I’m preparing myself to hear her lash out with disappointment when she realizes she’s not getting the same gifts her brothers are getting. Never mind the fact that she has her own presents that she’s completely thrilled with. But once she sees her brothers’ gifts, all that excitement goes out the window. I call that the “Piece of the Pie” syndrome.
In Matthew 20:1-16, we read the story of the generous landowner that found workers to work in his field. He first started early in the morning, going out and hiring some men to work in his fields for a denarius (a full day’s wages). He went out a few hours later and found more men to hire. He did this again three more times in the day, with the last being in the evening time. When it was time to pay up, he gave all the workers a full day’s wages. But the men who were hired in the early morning hours were disgruntled and complained that they should have been given more, since they worked more hours than anyone else. Yet the landowner said “Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what is yours and go your way. I will give to this last one even as I give to you. Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with my own things? Or is your eye evil because I am good?” (Matthew 20:13-15 MEV)
The landowner did nothing wrong to the early morning hires. They made an agreement on the wages and the landowner paid in full. The problem was the early hires felt they were getting less, and the late hires were getting more — but everyone got equally. That’s our problem too, sometimes. We look at others who are being blessed and we get in a funk thinking that the more they get means the less I get. But God doesn’t work like that. God, like the landowner, has more than enough blessing to go around. A piece of the pie (blessing) for you does not mean less pie (blessing) for me. Because God’s pie is unlimited! And I can choose to be thankful for what I have, even while being thankful for what you have.
So, this Christmas, I’m going to try to help Holly understand that her brother’s gifts do not take away her gifts. I want to help her be grateful for what she has, and to be excited for them to have what they have. Because all the gifts are generous, and none are deserved. (And an extra piece of pie at dessert wouldn’t hurt!)
Prayer: Lord God, thank You for all the things You have given us. Each day is a blessing with blessings poured into it. Keep us from feeling slighted when we see others being blessed. Help us be grateful for all that You have given us because none of them are deserved. In Your blessed Son’s name, Amen.
Action: Think of someone you know that is blessed, even if they really are blessed more than you. Give God praise and thank Him for His blessing in their life. Ask Him to bless them even more. Then practice generosity — bake (or buy) a pie and gift it to someone for Christmas. Think about it symbolically – that giving them the whole pie does not take away any of your blessings.